Friday, October 08, 2010

***Warning, boring introspective post ahead***

Life is complicated as they say. I have a pretty complex life right now, kids, an ex-wife, a girlfriend and all of these parts have complications that rear their heads at odd times.

Right now I am in a pretty grey mood. I am my own worst enemy and right now all I can seem to do is think of the worst of the worst thoughts and I keep spinning myself in circles.

I actually have a very good life right now. My ex-wife and I while not friends are not enemies and we are amicable with the kids and most aspects of the division of our old life. My kids are great, I spend a good amount of time with them (shared custody) and greatly enjoy the times I have with them. They are both unique and amazing in their own ways and they are as important to me as anything has ever been.

My girlfriend is also amazing. In her I have found someone I sync with on levels I haven't felt quite the same way before. I adore her, quirks and all. She is one of the smartest, most charming and big hearted people I know. I am lucky to have met her, with her I am happy and that is something I had almost given up on.

But like life we are complicated and sometimes those aspects cause me to spin and enter a dark mood and doubt myself and a funk settles. When that happens I take everything the wrong way and I lose myself in the spiraling of thoughts.

I know it is not right and I should appreciate what I do have, but doubts and my own inability to shut of my stupid inner monologue plague me at times. They tend not to last, but when they do it is a rough ride for me.

On the bright side I do have a cat in a dryer with laser eyes...

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